Um.

Hi there.

It's been a few months.... uh. I meant to call. But i've been, you know, kind of embarrassed. Cause it's been so long. And i didn't really know how to come back and be all, "hey!" as if nothing happened. So i've been sitting here wondering how i'm supposed to be all, "hey," and then i figured that i'd just come right out and say it.

Hey.

I'm back.

To be honest, life has been kind of sliding down the shit mountain and i've been quiet because i know no one wants to hear 300 words of complaining every time you come here, so i figured i'd keep it to myself. Believe me, I've been doing YOU a favor. Because i'm a nice girl like that.

So here, in list format, since you've been asking, is what has been going on round these parts for the past 3 months:

1. Cousin G is still getting married, i am still a bridesmaid and at this point i have spent upwards of $1300 so that she can get married.
2. People keep asking me when I'M going to get married without really understanding that not only can we not afford to get married, we totally can't afford an engagement ring.
3. The Boy has been a mess lately with a herniated disk that has left him, at times, incapacitated. Without health insurance, he is pretty much fucked.
4. I had to take this semester off from school because i am teh poor.
5. I got an invitation to my 10-year high school reunion. 'Nuff said.
   
6. The Boy's 92 yr old grandmother fell in her house (and couldn't get up) and went from hospital to rehabilitation nursing center last week. Currently, this woman who had been so sarcastic and sharp is having a hard time keeping everything in her brain that was there last week.
7. My credit card debt is so high that my friends ask me how i sleep at night.
8. I have gone off the wagon with WeightWatchers and realize that i have probably gained back everything i had lost since last year.
9. Stepping in dog shit on Friday night made me cry.

TA-DA! Welcome to the Sunshine and Roses Webpage. Where everything is happy and bright until you step in an unsuspecting pile of dog-pie and you lose whatever semblance of control you had that was keeping you from sobbing into your low-fat chocolate milkshake.

And THAT, my friends, is why i have not been Sharon The Sharer these past couple of months.

I'm thinking i need to get this shit out somewhere, however, so i have a feeling i'll be back.

Fox News.

This weekend, TheBoy and I went for a little 4 mile hike in the woods. It was all my idea and i was really psyched to get out and go hiking because it's gotten way too long in between days in the woods, and i love hiking. Love. Yet by the time we hit mile 2, i wanted someone to come pick me up and drive me back to the car. I was beat. Which was totally sad since it wasn't even that hot out.

Also, i was a little bored. Which is totally strange. I'm not sure what to attribute that to.

Maybe it was the fact that we were 'hiking' down a bridle trail - which is not hiking at all, but walking. In the woods. The bridle (not bridal - that would be something totally different) trail is really soft sandy-dirt and the uneven, soft ground was driving me crazy (but woo! workout!) with very little scenery at all. I know, what the hell am i expecting, right? Yeah, i don't know. The lack of anything going on around us caused us to use all the strategically placed piles of horse poo as major sources of entertainment; every time we passed one TheBoy would make fart/potty noises which amused us both to no end. Farts=funny, people. There's no denying that.

Once we finally made it off the bridle path and onto a real, solid path, things brightened up a bit. There were creeks! And chipmunks! A rabbit! A deer hiding in the trees! So many things more interesting than horse shit. I know it's hard to fathom.

Somewhere halfway through, we stopped to sit on a bench that was set up in a clearing by the fish hatchery. TheBoy was making a phone call (cause what's a hike without your Blackberry, eh?) and just staring off into space when he saw something, that at first registered as a 'dog', walking on the path we had just come from.

"That's a fox!"

Shocking! I've never, ever seen a fox (i don't think.. that i can remember..) in real life. It was a lot bigger than i thought it would be - like the size of a cocker spaniel, i guess. So we gauked at the fox and it stared back at us, until it decided that we were way too excited to see it and he ran away.

And i'm sure some of you are like, "yeah, whatever, Claire. I've got a fox sleeping in the marigolds out front," To which i would respond, "wow," and "that's really interesting," but this is my story, and i've never seen one in person, and it was kind of exciting for me, if you don't mind.

Don't steal my fox thunder.

By the time we wandered out of the woods, i wanted to fall down in the parking lot and go to sleep, but overall, a nice hike... or walk. You know.

Turtles and such.

I just wanted to check in and say that things are going on over here that I'm not too interested in talking about publicly, but that I'm still around and still reading everyone's blogs. I might not be posting very often while i try to get my collective shit together but, you know, Hi!

This week is going to be kind of busy on the home-front. I'm trying to get approved for vacation for this Wednesday thru Friday, but so far i haven't seen my request come back with a signature.

This may sound all cryptic, but don't worry. Nothing scary. Yet. I hope.


Ok, I'm going to stop it now. Here, i leave you with a close-up of that angry turtle i mentioned from Grand Cayman. I am holding him, but I'm all cropped out of the picture, because i can't hold a candle to the angriest turtle in the world: