Um.

Hi there.

It's been a few months.... uh. I meant to call. But i've been, you know, kind of embarrassed. Cause it's been so long. And i didn't really know how to come back and be all, "hey!" as if nothing happened. So i've been sitting here wondering how i'm supposed to be all, "hey," and then i figured that i'd just come right out and say it.

Hey.

I'm back.

To be honest, life has been kind of sliding down the shit mountain and i've been quiet because i know no one wants to hear 300 words of complaining every time you come here, so i figured i'd keep it to myself. Believe me, I've been doing YOU a favor. Because i'm a nice girl like that.

So here, in list format, since you've been asking, is what has been going on round these parts for the past 3 months:

1. Cousin G is still getting married, i am still a bridesmaid and at this point i have spent upwards of $1300 so that she can get married.
2. People keep asking me when I'M going to get married without really understanding that not only can we not afford to get married, we totally can't afford an engagement ring.
3. The Boy has been a mess lately with a herniated disk that has left him, at times, incapacitated. Without health insurance, he is pretty much fucked.
4. I had to take this semester off from school because i am teh poor.
5. I got an invitation to my 10-year high school reunion. 'Nuff said.
   
6. The Boy's 92 yr old grandmother fell in her house (and couldn't get up) and went from hospital to rehabilitation nursing center last week. Currently, this woman who had been so sarcastic and sharp is having a hard time keeping everything in her brain that was there last week.
7. My credit card debt is so high that my friends ask me how i sleep at night.
8. I have gone off the wagon with WeightWatchers and realize that i have probably gained back everything i had lost since last year.
9. Stepping in dog shit on Friday night made me cry.

TA-DA! Welcome to the Sunshine and Roses Webpage. Where everything is happy and bright until you step in an unsuspecting pile of dog-pie and you lose whatever semblance of control you had that was keeping you from sobbing into your low-fat chocolate milkshake.

And THAT, my friends, is why i have not been Sharon The Sharer these past couple of months.

I'm thinking i need to get this shit out somewhere, however, so i have a feeling i'll be back.

Well then.

So, uh.

Hi there.


You may be saying, "Jebus Christmas, woman. It's been a month and a half since we've heard from you. Where in the F have you been? And it better be good."

To which I would say, "Um... nowhere...?"

I've just been wiped off the face of the planet, it seems, for a month and a half and I really don't have anything to show for it. No, really. I've been working in my little cubicle in cubicle-land, day after day, without much entertainment. I don't know. Maybe I lost the inspiration to talk about the nothingness that has been my summer.

So, I’m sorry about that. For those of you who checked in with me to see if I was dead. I'm not. Now you know.

****************************

For newsworthiness, lets take a look at what kind of expenses I have coming up that I can't afford, not even with credit because I am poor in the sense of OHMYGOD where is all my money GOING??

• This past weekend, I had my school orientation. I'm starting up my bachelors (after graduating with my associates in December) and have done absolutely no research to try and get this shit moving before the semester starts the last week of August.

I am so screwed. I haven't registered for classes yet because I need to see a "Transfer Advisor" before being allowed to register. I haven't seen a Transfer Advisor, because I would need to go to the school during office hours and I haven't actually worked up the desire to try to get this all moving and take a day off of work and just DO IT already. I am so not excited about this and it kind of scares me. I can't really afford it, though I know I’ll just make it work somehow, as per usual. But if I could just register for a class on my own and get my ass in the classroom twice a week, I’ll be fine. Just let me do it on my own, I don't want to have to talk to someone within the bureaucracy that is a state-run university. It sucks, and everyone is mean and doesn't give a shit about how lost you are. You make phone calls and they'll transfer you all around campus because no one wants to deal with you, until you're on hold for 20 minutes and someone just hangs up. Goddamn them.

• I was asked to be a bridesmaid in Cousin G's wedding. Quite frankly, when she told me that she got engaged, I really didn't think I would be in the wedding party at all and I was actually really pissed off about it for awhile. When she started making wedding plans she wasn't giving me straight answers about the wedding party. I very staunchly assumed I was not going to be in it which I felt was a total slap in the face, because we had been such close friends, with the exception of the past 3 years or so.

Heh. I was wrong.

She was waiting to ask me when she figured out how many guy-friends her fiancé wanted in the party. So uh, yeah. I kind of felt like an ass, but now I am kicking myself for even wanting to be asked. It is so not worth it. How the hell was I supposed to know that I’m expected to PAY for things?? Why didn't anyone WARN ME?? Ugh... I have to go to lunch with the Maid of Honor and the two mothers on Sunday to work out the prices of the Bridal Shower. I am so unprepared for how much someone else's wedding is going to cost me.

• Also, I have not purchased an Engagement Present, which is apparently mandatory in the year 2007. Had no idea. What the fuck am I supposed to get her? Also, am like 3 months late on this. Help?

• BigDog had some trouble in June. She had been limping for awhile and we weren't quite sure what was wrong, so we took her to the vet. That was a joyous couple of hours, let me say. 113lbs of very strong, very scared dog had to be held down by 2 vet techs, the vet, TheBoy and myself while trying to feel around her joints to see where the injury is. There was a lot of screaming (BigDog), a lot of peeing (also BigDog), some blood (a vet tech who received a hard kick from BigDog and her long, sharp nails) and copious amounts of drool (also, mostly from BigDog).

It sucked. She's been on some anti-inflammatory and gloucosimine pills and has shown improvements. I'm hoping the pills will make it all better, because doggy-ACL ligament repair surgery is way out of my price range. I love her, but she needs to get a job that pays for health benefits, because pet insurance is a rip off. So says me.

These are just some of the fun things that have been going on in my world. Aren't you excited to get caught up? I know; it's enthralling, my life.

On the bright side, however, I may be getting to the beach this weekend and I think it's about time.
It's August, and I haven't been to the beach yet once this year.
And I live about 15 minutes from a really nice ocean beach.
There are no excuses, people.

Except the forecast calls for a chance of thunderstorms.

Dammit.

Hello - help me? html question...

It seems like everyone else has been able to figure this out, and i'm feeling a little dumb today.

If i want to post a link on someone's comments and i want it to say a word and not show the actual link address... How do i do that?

For instance, if I wanted to link to oh.. i don't know... that great site, www.leekspin.com

But i want the happy blue words to read "Strangely Addictive Swedish Crap" when you see it in your comments. How do i do that?

Anyone? Bueller?

I know you all know how to do this - i am just a little dumber than you. That's all.