"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Elvis is sounding pretty great right now.

I'm finding it kind of hard to focus right now.  There's a lot going on and then all at the same time, nothing is really happening at all.  I've been engaged for over two months now, and i think i've done all of the necessary first-step stuff that apparently you're supposed to do when you get engaged.  Here, let's take a look at what the last month or so has been like in time-to-plan-your-wedding-land:

  • I've told most everyone i know.  At least, i think so.  There are some people who have been left off of that list, but it's not for lack of trying.  Although, it is a lack of trying in some people's cases.  I just don't know how they're going to react, so i've let Facebook or my Gmail status message tell them.  I'm sure this will come to bite me in the ass.
  • I've picked my Maid of Honor, Cousin G.  However, i haven't picked the rest of the bridal party because i just have no idea what i'm going to do with that.  Though TheBoy has picked his Best Man - but i'm not so sure he's actually told him yet.
  • I've put together a preliminary guest list just to see what kind of nightmare this is going to be - so far it looks like 115 people, but that's without consulting our parents or inviting everyone i would like to from work.
  • I've decided to scrap the 115 people guest list and have a destination wedding to the Caribbean with our closest family - at most 20 people - and have a nice casual wedding on the beach.
  • I took into account the fact that my grandmother is going to have a hard time on the beach or on the plane for that long, and also that Holy Crap, that's going to be kind of expensive for everyone flying down and maybe we'll just keep it within the continental United States.
  • We're getting married in Acadia National Park on Mt. Desert Island, Maine.  Because it's gorgeous up there and we love it.  And if we're doing it up in Maine, we're getting married in October (2010) when the leaves are at their peak colors and it's going to be absolutely stunning.  I've always wanted to get married in October, and wouldn't it be perfect in the mountains in Maine?  Absolutely.  Small ceremony in the park and then maybe dinner at the restaurant on the grounds or at a restaurant in Bar Harbor.  It will be wonderful.
  • They don't allow chairs to be set up for a ceremony in the park.
  • There wouldn't be any bathrooms nearby for the elderly, less-continent people.
  • Wedding will be in Bar Harbor-proper where there are buildings and bathrooms and cutesy, small-towny kitch - but most importantly, the bathrooms.
  • If wedding is going to be away from home, then i'll have a great, big backyard party back at home for the rest of my family and friends and whoever isn't invited to the actual ceremony.
  • Probably won't be possible to have a backyard party in the middle of October, what with it being cold and all, so i'll have to have the party at a restaurant or catering hall or something.
  • Which brings us right back to just having the damn thing here at home in the first place.
The idea of having a destination wedding was that it was going to be cheaper since i would be inviting less people.  Small ceremony, followed by an easy dinner at a local restaurant would have been perfect for our immediate family and good for me, the one who does not like to be the center of attention.  Also, for me, the person who will not know when to cut people off the invitation list.  Because i will feel bad for not inviting Judy from Accounting, who i went out to lunch with that one time.

However, I cannot get my Great-Aunt Louise out of my head.  She is one of many, many old people in my family that would be seriously miffed about not getting invited to a proper New York Italian wedding.  I know this.  And it makes me feel guilty.

My mother has told me not to think about the Aunt Louises and not to feel guilty about anything i choose to do.  I'm not going to make everyone happy, no matter what i do.  And she's right.  Those people are really hard to please.  Easter dinner was a good reminder of that...

On the other hand, it'll just be so much EASIER to have the whole thing here, where I am and i KNOW of places and people that do this stuff.  I won't have to think about trying to plan for something in a place that i can't just drive to whenever i need to.  I won't have to think that i'm inconveniencing anyone and, let's face it: more invitees equals more presents.  That's why people have weddings in the first place, right?  Or else, we'd all just elope. 

I'm just kidding about that presents thing.  Sorta. (Hi!  I'm broke!)

So, to sum up:  I've registered.  And that's about all i've gotten accomplished.  My bathroom towels will be blue.  There.  I'm giving up on everything else for a few weeks.


  • OMG, planning a wedding is STRESS-FUL. I don't envy you one bit! I do, however, think that blue is a lovely color for bathroom towels, and that everything will come together for you perfectly, whenever and wherever you decide to get married. For me the initial "OMG I'm engaged so much to plan WATCH MY HEAD SPIN" phase was the worst. Correct me if I'm wrong, I think that's where you are right now. :-)

    By Blogger Cassie, at 4/16/2009 2:44 PM  

  • How weird is it that my wedding-planning experience has been EXACTLY THE SAME? Maybe not weird at all? Maybe this is just how wedding planning is? In which case... ugh.

    By Blogger Jess, at 4/16/2009 3:42 PM  

  • Hmm. Who do we know who got married in Acadia - and had a great time doing it - who might be able to offer you some helpful suggestions?

    Oh, right -- me.

    By Anonymous TwoBusy, at 4/17/2009 6:42 AM  

  • Cassie - It is stressful, and i haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet: the fighting with vendors, the fighting with bridal party, the fighting with parents - you know. Luckily, there are some good books out there that are telling me to calm down.

    Jess - We should probably get together and commiserate over a beer. I have no idea if this is how it's supposed to be, but i keep hearing that I should just elope and get it over with.

    TwoBusy - Yeah, I sorta think i remember something about that.. heh. Seriously, i figured if that plan was going to win the tug-of-war fight inside my head, then i would fully consult with you. You are the only person that I know that has done the Acadia thing and the first person i thought of when that idea was first put on the table. I welcome any and all suggestions...

    By Blogger claire, at 4/17/2009 10:29 AM  

  • If you decide to start moving ahead on MDI, e-mail me... I'll be happy to offer whatever advice/suggestions I can.

    By Anonymous TwoBusy, at 4/17/2009 10:48 AM  

  • Holy cow, you posted! Congratulations! about the posting AND the engagement LOL

    By Blogger SUEB0B, at 4/18/2009 5:29 PM  

  • I wouldn't stress too much about inviting work people; whenever I've seen invitations go out at work, people are usually more annoyed about being invited than about not being invited. They're like, "what? I barely know her! I just had lunch with her that one time!"

    By Anonymous flurrious, at 4/19/2009 9:59 AM  

  • Oh my goodness, I love this post! You have painted the picture that is PURE HELL for all brides. We did our wedding in our home town, with 20 people, and some people were PISSED OFF and most were happy for us. You can't please everyone, so do whatever makes you two happy! Afterall, it is your wedding. ;)

    Selfish? Maybe. Maybe not.

    Not even one ounce of stressity-stress? You bet.

    By OpenID icroak, at 4/27/2009 9:16 AM  

  • We had our wedding right in the town where we lived and OH I AM SO GLAD. It was SO MUCH EASIER, even if it meant more guests came. And you know, the flip side of more guests coming is... well, more guests come. And those are people you care about and who care about you.

    Good luck!

    By Blogger Jess, at 4/27/2009 11:50 AM  

  • And that is why I say, NO WEDDINGS FOR ME! You know, if Chris ever actually gave me a ring or asked me. Which is doubtful.

    By Blogger nancypearlwannabe, at 5/04/2009 9:22 AM  

  • So... enough waiting: what are you going to do?

    By Blogger TwoBusy, at 5/26/2009 8:28 AM  

  • You should totally do whatever you want to do. And frankly, if my boyfriend was on board, we would have done a destination wedding just to cut down on some people. But right now, mah gah, so many people. I don't know what size you are, but after October of '09 I will have a used wedding dress if you're interested. (Not that I've gotten a wedding dress yet. Le sigh.)

    By Blogger Christine, at 6/04/2009 1:50 PM  

  • So. How was the wedding?

    By Anonymous TwoBusy, at 8/15/2009 2:27 PM  

  • Are you married yet?

    By Blogger TwoBusy, at 12/03/2009 10:22 PM  

  • Dear Claire,

    Merry Christmas, wherever you are.

    The Interwebs.

    By Blogger TwoBusy, at 12/24/2009 11:55 AM  

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