"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Friday, September 19, 2008

Now hiring: New best friends. The old ones are too important to remember me.

It's almost like they want me to work here or something.  I'm not sure i get it.  They've Websensed the hell out of my innernets at work again, just after i got used to them totally disregarding the "Personal and Networking" filter that they had been so stringent on back in April.  After about a month, it's almost like they forgot that they cared about people reading blogs.  And then i was happy.  But now, the IT department sucks.  OH I'LL SAY IT IN PRINT.  I.T. SUCKS.

If you do not have a Typepad account, i am having trouble getting to your comments page.  For some reason, Typepad is not a threat to the IT security geek.  Thank god for Google Reader, is all i have to say.  I would be lost without it.


This morning on my way to work, I decided that today would be the day that i try to contact a few people via email that i've lost touch with.  It's been awhile since i've spoken to them, and dammit, i miss them.

The first was a girl that i met in my last semester before graduating from community college.  She was going to be coming to the same shitty school that i'm in now and we promised to keep in touch.  Yeah, not so much.  I thought it would be nice to get together and catch up.  We hit it off pretty well in ceramics class and i feel pretty crappy about dropping the ball.  Also, i want to know what classes she has taken and if she has any information about how to get what you want as this place.  Cause i haven't figured it out yet.

The second is the girl that i grew up with.  My first bestest friend in the whole wide world, mostly because she lived in the house next door to me for most of our childhood.  She and i kind of parted ways after the first year of college because neither of us are very good at long distance friendships.  It happens.  She moved back a few years ago, but I don't think i've actually seen her in 6 or 7 years.  And when i mean she moved back, i mean she was living in the house next to my mother.  Whom I go visit about once a week.  I probably could have done better with that.  But!  She decided to pack up and go to school in Arizona for her PhD.  Fucking good for her.  She sent out one of those mass-email messages you always get from people who are trying to rub it in about how well they're doing even though you haven't heard shit from them in 7 years, to let us know that she was moving and embarking on this bright, new dream.  So i responded to the mass-mail in August, congratulating her on getting herself to the next step and wow, you're moving across the country and aren't you special and so, so smart. 
She totally didn't write me back.

The third is a guy friend of mine whom i haven't spoken to since April.  Before that, i hadn't seen or spoken to him since he left the island and moved to Boston in August of 2007. We had lunch a week before he left and then i heard nothing from him for 8 months.  I thought i had pissed him off somehow, but i guess with moving, he had tried to really start a new life.  Whatever.  He's one of the funniest, most uncomfortable-in-his-own-skin, brilliant people i know. He is the friend that gave me the title to this blog as the subject of an email he wrote to me years ago. I tend to let him off the hook.  As it turned out, he had been in the middle of a love-triangle.  We all know; these things happen.

So far, it has been about 6 hours since i sent those emails out. 

As of 3:45pm, all I have received back is a friend-invite on Facebook from the second girl, my long-lost childhood bestfriend. 

She invited me to be her friend on Facebook.  I don't even have a real account.  I just set it up to see what it was all about, like a few months ago. 

I get the distinct feeling that she is telling me that all i really need to know about her life i can find on Facebook.  As in, "i'm not going to honor you with the joy of receiving a real email from me.  You can learn what everyone else learns about me from my online profile."

My friends suck.


  • Amazing how much proximity has to do with childhood friendships. If Anne of Green Gables hadn't lived so close to Diana, would they ever have become such good friends? I think not.

    Sorry nobody's written back yet. But still, it's only been a few hours. Don't write her off completely just yet. She may just not have time to write an email right now.

    By Blogger Jess, at 9/19/2008 3:18 PM  

  • I still love you!!!

    By Blogger shana, at 9/21/2008 8:44 AM  

  • The older I get, the more I begin to come to terms with the fact that PEOPLE SUCK. It's so sad to lose touch with friends, isn't it? I can't even count how many times I've tried to get in touch with someone I was super-close to in high school, only to be completely ignored. It's sad when people get too "busy" or "lazy" to maintain FRIENDSHIPS, for Christ's sake!

    By Blogger Cassie, at 9/22/2008 9:24 AM  

  • Then again, they might've just been out of the office/on vacation/figuring that if it's been several years since they've heard from you, it might not be entirely rude to take a couple of days to respond to your e-mail.

    Just a thought.

    By Anonymous TwoBusy, at 9/22/2008 9:40 AM  

  • Jess - Oh, i loved Anne of Green Gables. I should go back and read those books...

    Shana - Yay! Fortunately, you're one of the few i've been able to keep in touch with. :)

    Cassie - I mean, hey, don't get me wrong. I SUCK at keeping in touch. I totally, totally suck at it. So i get it. But i usually don't blatantly ignore someone who makes the effort.

    Twobusy - Well, if you're just going to take their side, maybe you'd just like to go read THEIR BLOGS NOW. Hrmph.

    By Blogger claire, at 9/22/2008 9:49 AM  

  • Wait a second, i sound totally unreasonable. I'm not writing them off because of the lack of instant gratification. I'm sure these people are busy and will give them a decent amount of time before i decide never to talk to these people ever, ever again and hope that they die in a fire. I'm giving like that.

    By Blogger claire, at 9/22/2008 9:52 AM  

  • I take offense to the comment that your friends suck.

    What the hell am I damn it?

    But fine, I admit I suck too. Because I often go periods of time not talking to you and not only do we live 5 minutes from each other, but we work for the same shit-hole too.

    By Blogger Orelinde_03, at 10/24/2008 3:17 PM  

  • I realize this is replying to a two year old post I found randomly on hte internet whilst searching for example of biting English sarcasm, I just had to respond after a brief perusal of your blog:
    So although I can empathize and feel your pain about your friends being dickheads, here's a piece of advice: friends are not like wisdom teeth, you can actually get new ones if you go looking.

    Part deux: are your (admittedly funny sometimes) posts what qualify as sarcasm in the US? After having watched the bitingly funny Seinfeld, I had gathered that you yanks had finally graduated to the top of the humour (yes with a "u") class.

    Now chin up old girl and try to have a *nice* day....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/10/2011 7:27 PM  

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