I shouldn't be allowed out without parental supervision.

Well, here's a fun confession:

I just visited the bathroom and checked myself in the mirror on my way out to make sure everything is still where i left it (and to fluff my hair, if you must know) when i noticed that there's a bit of white shmutz under the arm-holes of my shirt. I'm wearing kind of a sleeveless top with sort of a cap-sleeve thing and for some reason my deodorant, my INVISIBLE! solid deodorant, has mushed itself all over my dark red shirt. In the arm pit area. Obviously.

I inspected the area fully and determined that i'm not going to be able to wipe this off with a wet paper towel, that will probably just make it worse, and kind of resigned myself to keeping my arms down all day today. Which sucks, because i'm either going to be totally self-conscious the whole day or i'm going to forget about it in all of 20 minutes from now and wave my arms around like a baboon who's just spotted a helpless car coming into the Six Flags Safari that likes to rip off all of the radio antenae that pass by. I am forgetful like that.

I walked back to my desk and started "working*" again and remembered that i have one of those Shout Wipes in my purse. Right where they're supposed to be! For messy people like me! But it's been in there since April and i haven't thought about it in months! Look at me remembering things! And proceed to take it out and start to blot the underarms of my shirt at my desk, where People walk around all day.

It occurs to me that
#1: Someone is bound to catch me with my face and a wet-nap in my armpit.
#2: It's going to be very hard to explain.
#3: A mirror may be in order here to fully contend with the extent of the mushed deodorant.
And #4: I look like an asshole.

I trot off to the bathroom to further investigate the situation.

By this point, i'm awful proud of myself for having something like a Shout Wipe to get rid of the shmutz under my arms and take off my shirt to do the job right (It's ok, i have a camisole on underneath). However, i didn't realize just how WET these little wipes ARE. But i think, No Problem! I can just dry my shirt under the hand-dryers here in the bathroom!

I look around.

Lo, but there are no hand-dryers. They probably haven't been here since 2002. Disappointment.

I try blotting the moisture out with a paper towel and put my top back on.

Now i look like i've been sweating profusely, seemingly, just from sitting in my cubicle all morning with these giant sweat rings under my arms. The white gunk is gone, but now i'm left a sweaty, sweaty pig.

I will still need to keep my arms down all day. Oh, and chuck that damned INVISIBLE! deodorant. Really, Dove, who are we kidding.



*Read: catching up on my Google Reader.