Enraged. Quickly.

Just a quick note to say that i was watching the most recent episode of America's Next Top Model last night on the ol' Ti-Faux where they mentioned that the two plus-sized models on this season are a size 8 and 10.


Can i just say that hearing that made me want to punch someone square in the face?


Ok, thanks. That is all.

Chickens and the Eggs From Which They Hatch.

My focus lately has totally been waxing and waning and for a while last week, i was seeing red on a daily basis due to work-crap that i'll most likely not bore you with.

Cause you have your own work-crap that makes you physically exhausted from anger, right?

Right?

You don't need to hear mine because you have your own. Everyone goes through this, right?
Seeing red? Screaming at people? Because of work? No.. probably not everyone.


Feh.

But that's ok, see? Cause things, they may be changing. Maybe. And if they do, i'll be much better off. Because i may or may not be qualified for a new position in another department and how great would it be to get the fuck out of here? SO GREAT! But i'm not a chicken counter, so we're not getting excited about it here.

Even though the hiring manager really likes me and maybe told me that if i want the job, it's pretty much mine. But those chickens - i'm not counting them yet because the position hasn't officially been hatched yet and we're waiting until after the first of April for it to come back from corporate with their official stamp of a "Real, Newly Budgeted Position" so that i can apply. Until that happens, anything can and will most likely go wrong, so i am going to sit here stewing in my own sucky-job-juices until i see it posted to the company's open jobs list and then i will jump up and down on it and scream happy, joyful things.

And then i'll have to interview. Which means i'll have to tell my current boss that i hate him and want to go live with some other people from now on. Over there. Just across the hall.
Someone (be it myself, the interviewer or Human Resources) is obligated to tell the current boss that their employee is looking to jump-ship before they interview somewhere else in the company.

I'm not really sure how to deal with that, you know? It's kind of like telling someone you're going to cheat on them at a specified time and that you may or may not be deemed acceptable by the 'other woman' and if they like you, maybe you'll just go out with them from now on, thank you very much. It just feels dirty. Mostly because my department is not necessarily the type that encourages its employees to learn and grow and wants you to stay in the same spot for ever and ever until you quit because you can't take it anymore.

So i'm at a cross-roads. Obviously i want this new job because not only is it more money, but a better environment in a better department with more upward mobility. Even more importantly, because the title of the position is something that i can take just about ANYWHERE if i decide to leave. The experience i can gain there is priceless and i really need this break.

Now how do i tell my boss that i'm leaving him in a lurch?

I don't know.

Organic living

I did some grocery shopping on Saturday evening (isn't that when all the cool kids do their food shopping? Yeah, i thought so) and i had a rather strange experience.

I was standing behind a woman at the checkout who was taking an awfully long time getting all her stuff out of her cart and bagging and whatever and as i was watching her (cause really, what else can you do when you're not close enough to the magazines?) i was paying attention to what was in her over-flowing cart.

This perfectly shaped woman must have picked one of every single item in the "Organic" section of the supermarket. Everything soy, everything whole-grain, everything organic that they sell at this particular chain and on top of all that, there was a representative of every single fresh green-leafy vegetable in it's individual plastic produce bag. Vegetables i couldn't possibly identify if i had a gun to my head. Honestly, the only one i could name were the beets and that's only because of the red stems. But, see, i couldn't tell if the actual BEET was on the end of those leaves. Do people just buy the tops? I don't know.

And when i say this woman was perfectly-shaped, she was. She had a perfectly clear complexion and you couldn't see any evidence of a stressful life. She looked content. Which is not something that i would think you could see while in the checkout line at the supermarket.

I was totally jealous of this person. With all of her organic trail mixes and soy cheese and fancy-dancy ALL-NATURAL frozen foods but mostly of the leafy-green vegetables. JEALOUS. I wish i could have that kind of discipline or at least good sense.

So as i stood behind her and put the little plastic divider after her stuff; i started to load my crap on the belt behind hers. I purposely picked out the Kashi cereal from my cart and actually faced the box towards her so that she could see it. Then the yogurt, and the single green pepper... oh and then the cookies. Yeah. And probably the Honey Nut Cheerios. Non-organic variety.

Though, i did feel some kind of relief when her bill came to $370.

Eating like nature intended seems to come at quite a price.

Fun with Banking.

Tonight The Boy and i went shopping for new clothes to get him ready to start his new job on Wednesday. It was like school shopping and we probably got about as much stuff as a kid would get for his first day of school, only this was all about khakis and button-downs so that Boy can look like a grown-up. It can be hard for someone who's been used to wearing jeans and t-shirts for most of his professional life to actually have to look like a productive member of society, but we got it done. Lucky for us, Kohls tends to sort of give their stock away, so we were able to buy a crap-load of stuff for not too much money.

However, not "too much money" to most people (including us, when we had two paychecks) turned into a bit of a bank account burner and now I've got to sit and stare at my online bank account until i get paid on the 15th to hope and pray that no other checks clear before then. Please, oh please... don't let anything else go away..... please, oh gods of the automatic bill deduction system...

Am i actually writing about Michael Jackson? Ugh, i think i am.

I realize that i haven't posted anything in a little while and its not for lack of trying for crissakes. I've got 3 partially done posts that i lost interest in half-way through.

Wow, my creative inspiration is lacking.

But! I do have one thing that i feel i need to share with the innernets.

I am sitting here listening to Michael Jackson's greatest hits (or something) through the cubical wall and while i feel so, so confused that someone is listening to MJ at such a high volume, i am also feeling bizarrely nostalgic....
You know, about Michael Jackson.

So weird.

For instance, I just remembered when the 'HIStory' album came out. I was in the 6th grade and he had done that weirdo video that was broadcast on network television, where he danced around on top of the car and then smashed it up with a baseball bat? Like, what the hell was that about anyway? He grabbed himself at least 8 times while he was dancing on that car, and quite frankly, i think that's about 7 times too many. I recall my mother being a little horrified.

Oh, and then the "Remember the Time" video that took place in Egypt with Lisa Marie Presley and it was all Egypt-y and shit... And I think Magic Johnson was in it... And MichaelJackson was naked...

Wait. Let's linger a little longer on that, shall we: He was naked.

But then you go way back to the 80's when it was all "Thriller" and "Billy Jean" and i think of red leather jackets with a thousand zippers and single sparkly gloves. Things were so much more innocent then. Like that dancy "gang-knife-fight" in what video... was it "Bad"? I think so*. That was just ridiculously West Side Story of him, but you know, with less meaning.
My brother had a girlfriend back in ohidontknow 1989? that was WAY into MJ and even at the time, i thought that was really weird... and i was 9, you know.

Hee! BrotherM will be so happy to remember that, I'm sure.

Oh, Michael... what happened.... that fedora used to be so neato...



*see how i'm actually doing the research to make sure my facts are straight? Feh. It's only MJ. I can't be bothered.