"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Monday, March 19, 2007

Organic living

I did some grocery shopping on Saturday evening (isn't that when all the cool kids do their food shopping? Yeah, i thought so) and i had a rather strange experience.

I was standing behind a woman at the checkout who was taking an awfully long time getting all her stuff out of her cart and bagging and whatever and as i was watching her (cause really, what else can you do when you're not close enough to the magazines?) i was paying attention to what was in her over-flowing cart.

This perfectly shaped woman must have picked one of every single item in the "Organic" section of the supermarket. Everything soy, everything whole-grain, everything organic that they sell at this particular chain and on top of all that, there was a representative of every single fresh green-leafy vegetable in it's individual plastic produce bag. Vegetables i couldn't possibly identify if i had a gun to my head. Honestly, the only one i could name were the beets and that's only because of the red stems. But, see, i couldn't tell if the actual BEET was on the end of those leaves. Do people just buy the tops? I don't know.

And when i say this woman was perfectly-shaped, she was. She had a perfectly clear complexion and you couldn't see any evidence of a stressful life. She looked content. Which is not something that i would think you could see while in the checkout line at the supermarket.

I was totally jealous of this person. With all of her organic trail mixes and soy cheese and fancy-dancy ALL-NATURAL frozen foods but mostly of the leafy-green vegetables. JEALOUS. I wish i could have that kind of discipline or at least good sense.

So as i stood behind her and put the little plastic divider after her stuff; i started to load my crap on the belt behind hers. I purposely picked out the Kashi cereal from my cart and actually faced the box towards her so that she could see it. Then the yogurt, and the single green pepper... oh and then the cookies. Yeah. And probably the Honey Nut Cheerios. Non-organic variety.

Though, i did feel some kind of relief when her bill came to $370.

Eating like nature intended seems to come at quite a price.

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11 Comments:

  • $370? even in pounds, that's millions!!

    my shopping always goes:

    veggies
    fresh meat
    cold stuff (milk, cheese etc)
    fruit
    fruit juice
    tomatoey sauce things for cooking with
    bread
    croissants
    crisps
    peanuts
    wine
    wine
    wine
    wine
    wine
    beer
    wine

    well, you get the picture. i find it helps to put the crap in the middle of your shopping, thus denying both the person in front and the person behind you of the opportunity of sneering at your shopping.

    alternatively, just buy vodka, ritz crackers and multivitamins. that'll give them something to think about.

    By Blogger surly girl, at 3/19/2007 4:34 PM  

  • Jesus $370! good lord, in college that was rent!

    And I'm all for the wine diet as endorsed by Surly. Although that will run up your grocery tab as well.

    By Blogger Christine, at 3/19/2007 8:16 PM  

  • I once stood in line behind someone who could have been me (but she wasn't) (I only write that because she wasn't dressed expensively and didn't seem particularly WELL-heeled, so to speak) who was purchasing 10 packages of sushi. Perfectly done, perfectly wrapped in clear plastic (so you could see all the pretty colors), sushi. At about 9.00 per package. She happened to turn toward me so I said "Sushi?" and she said "Yes, dinner tonight, didn't feel like cooking." DINNER??? And then I put the double chocolate layer cake on the conveyor behind her SUSHI. Bite me, already, ya know? The cake was for my co-workers, one was having a birthday the next day.

    You can just never look at the stuff ahead of yours, unless it's obviously a bachelor. Those guys you can tell a mile away. 5 packages of meat, 3 bags of potato chips, 2 pints of ice cream, and 10 boxes of cereal. Oh, and macaroni and cheese mix.

    By Blogger The Fifth Floor, at 3/19/2007 10:15 PM  

  • surly - is that the diet you're on? i know you're losing weight, so i wanna try it, too.
    really, what more do you need than vodka ritz crackers and a multi to get thru your day, anyway...

    christine - i know, right? i really had to wonder how many people she was feeding with all that food, because i could only imagine how quickly all her fresh veggies would spoil and then have $300 worth of brown slime in her fridge.

    fifth floor - $90 worth of supermarket-sushi???? that's just plain STUPID. ugh... bring on the chocolate cake.
    I always feel better about my cart when i'm in line behind the bachelors. 10 boxes of cereal? Meet my granola bars and half & half...

    By Blogger claire, at 3/20/2007 7:59 AM  

  • The reason she seemed so content is because she's rich enough to drop $370 at the supermarket without thinking twice. From what I understand, there's a certain inner peace that comes with that.

    By Anonymous TwoBusy, at 3/20/2007 7:59 AM  

  • Shopping organically and healthy is expensive. I spend about 60 a week on veggies and organic of breakfast and dinner and if I include j's shopping with mine, I feel gross and embarrassed at my little market adding all that processed food next to the vegan's and really thin hipster kids who only buy organic.

    It makes me think that the people watching me say to themselves "look she tries to be healthy but then eats all that junk - no wonder why she is fat" (because at a size 8/10 I look like beached whale compared to them)

    Half of them are SO thin they all look like disease infected crack whores at the gym.

    By Blogger withoutaname, at 3/20/2007 9:55 AM  

  • twobusy - you know, you may be on to something...

    withoutaname - apparently it's very expensive. poor j. it's tough when all you eat is mac and cheese, eh?
    but this girl didn't look sickeningly skinny. she looked....normal..

    hmm.

    By Blogger claire, at 3/20/2007 12:02 PM  

  • there before you in line was a woman with a magnificent colon. that accounts for the complexion. the rest is genetics, beet greens (yum! ) or no.
    i suppose it would be rubbing salt in if i were to say that here organic is actually cheaper what with the 'buy locally' boom and living in rural america and all.
    *runs off flinging daisies*

    By Blogger First Nations, at 3/23/2007 5:55 PM  

  • ...because of all the roughage in her diet. i forgot to make that clear. she had good skin because she
    ah screw it.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 3/23/2007 5:57 PM  

  • 370?! Good lord. I am, however, cracking up at the fact that you placed your paltry healthy groceries out to face her. You're too funny.

    By Blogger metalia, at 3/27/2007 8:26 PM  

  • Claire... maybe you need to eat more healthy food to give you the energy to post. Something. Woman! Your adoring audience needs you!

    By Blogger The Fifth Floor, at 3/28/2007 7:28 PM  

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