"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

100 Things

I think it's about time i came up with a 100 Things list. Everyone else has one and I've been here for a year now. It's my turn:

1. I lived in the same house my entire life until I moved in with TheBoy in 2004. It was a really hard adjustment for me at the time.

2. I still miss living with my mom and I feel like i abandoned her, though i think she understands that it was about time i left.

3. TheBoy is 11 years older than me. I know. It's scary when you write it out that way, but in reality, you wouldn't know it unless someone told you.

4. I have never known someone who gets me as much as he does. We are very similar people and were lucky enough to find each other, even though he does piss me off sometimes.

5. I have been at my job - in the same desk, with the same chair - for 7 years. The title has changed twice, but my location has not. Everyone around me has moved at least 4 times, but for some reason, i have been here forever. At least i have a window.

6. I currently work in telecommunications in an office services department. This will, however, change come July 2007.Telecom is being taken away from my department and I'm not sure what is going to happen to me. Strangely, i am really curious to find out, so i have stopped aggressively looking for a new job. Don't get me wrong, i hate it here, but I'm really comfortable.

7. One of my biggest weaknesses is mistaking comfort in a situation for stability or happiness. I have spent too much time in situations because i was comfortable and was afraid to move on.

8. I am a serial-monogamist.

9. I am still friends with many of my ex-boyfriends. I truly believe that there are reasons why I dated most of them and that it wasn't just sexual or because of their partner-potential. Many of them are just really good people who I get along with. In fact, I miss seeing them as much as i used to.

10. I used to be in the orchestra in school. I started playing the viola in the 4th grade and didn't stop until i graduated high school. My childhood best friend and I used to call it Dorkestra, but i secretly loved it. Having that class 1st period was the nicest way for me to wake up in the morning.

11. I started playing the piano when i was 4, but gave it up when i was 16. I was in recitals and competitions and my piano teacher thought i was a natural. I gave it up after she moved to Florida and my new teacher would kick me under the piano because i wasn't practicing. I wasn't putting up with that shit.

12. I fully regret pushing music out of my life.

13. I get some of my grammar mixed up and i don't know if i will ever get it straight: Effect / Affect, its / it's, etc.

14. I also use too many commas.

15. I used to hate creative writing. I always dreaded doing the assignments and hated it every step of the way. I never thought that i would enjoy writing in a blog, but as it turns out, it's really fun to talk about nothing but yourself. Like, constantly.

16. Writing here has helped me with my college papers. They don't seem as daunting as they used to and don't take me as long to finish anymore. That - is truly a miracle.

17. I graduated in Dec. 2006 with my associates in liberal arts and a 3.9 GPA. I have no idea where to go for my bachelors in the fall, and am still unsure of what to major in. I think business is my best bet, but i feel like a business degree is a cop-out.

18. I think i want to start my own business. I've been playing around with the idea of opening up a Doggy Daycare or kennel, but I'm afraid of not being able to handle all of the work and responsibility that comes with starting up and running your own business.

19. I dropped out of college the first time - mostly because of a guy and a deep bout of depression. If i had completed my degree then, i wonder where i would be now.

20. During that depression, i lost an entire day to sleep. I didn't know it was possible to sleep through an entire 24 hours, but apparently it is.

21. Though i don't have the same commitment to sleep i used to, what with a full time job and all, i still love it. On the weekends, i rarely wake up before noon, even if i went to bed at midnight. I am lazy.

22. Ironically, dawn is my favorite time of day.

23. One of my favorite things to do is drive around and discover new places. I love to drive and i love to explore and there have only been a few people who have understood this and been a good co-pilot. Most people don't get it and get frustrated with me for never having a destination in mind. They are usually the people who are afraid of getting lost.

24. I love getting lost and finding my way back out. Truth is, living on Long Island, there is no way to get lost for very long because no matter which direction you go in, you will hit water.

25. I love living on Long Island. However, it is very expensive, no matter the quality of the neighborhood. Real estate prices and taxes are retarded here, but i couldn't imagine living anywhere else. You can go from farmland to city in an hour and pass through gang-owned ghettos to old-money-gold coast areas in the matter of minutes. It is such a diverse place.

26. If i could afford to live in Manhattan, i would drop Long Island in a heartbeat.

27. I am fickle.

28. But no matter what, if i had to live more than an hour away from the ocean, i would probably shrivel up and die.

29. Though i don't go to the beach as much as i want to.

30. In my late teens, a couple of friends and i used to go to the beach at night regularly, no matter the season. Mostly because we were poor and couldn't afford to actually DO things, but also because i love the beach (day, night, summer, winter) and used to find it kind of spiritually fulfilling.

31. There was one week that we were there every night "rescuing" the horseshoe crabs that were up on the beach during their mating season. Some of them would get stuck high up on the beach (after the act), sometimes on their back. We would pick them up and put them back in the water. I learned later that this was probably not necessary and might have been harmful, even. I hope i didn't screw up the horseshoe crab population of the Long Island Sound for the year 1999.

32. My first major (before dropping out of college the first time) was Marine Science. See? It all makes sense.

33. I came to a sort of epiphany during the second semester of that major that there was relatively little chance of me finding a job in my field even after a Masters. Cue the downward spiral.

34. I hate onions. Onions are of the devil.

35. I am a total carb addict. I love bread, everything bready. I don't think i could ever live without carbs and would not even dare to try. Down with Atkins.

36. TheBoy met with Dr. Atkins a few years before his diet was popular. TheBoy says he was a raging asshole, but his method helped Boy lose over 100lbs. He still believes that Atkins is the way to go in the dieting world, but i think it sounds like the most unhealthy, unnatural thing you can do to yourself. No bagels? Feh.

37. For a time at the first college, i worked in the university theater as a technician. I got to meet some interesting people this way, like Penn & Teller. This was hands-down the best show that i worked and got to watch for free. 2 interesting things: 1 - They wouldn't let anyone on stage while they set up the "Magic Bullet" trick, not even the resident stage manager, in order to keep their secrets. 2 - You learn things when you do other people's laundry. Things like, Penn apparently has a way with the ladies - according to massive amount of condoms he keeps in his luggage. I kept a handkerchief of Teller's as a souvenir. Post-washing. I still have it. He was nice.

38. I started getting a few stray gray hairs when i was 18. At the time i thought it was cool. I'm 26 now and it's not so cool anymore. They have started to take over the front of my hairline and it's a little upsetting. I always thought I'd be the kind of woman to let my hair go gray, but I'm just too young for this. It's not pretty. Or cute.

39. Conversely, I'm 26 and my face still breaks out. Zits and gray hair. How hot am I.

40. I can't eat spicy food. It makes my nose run and my eyes tear. It's pretty gross.

41. I can't watch scary movies. The imagery doesn't leave my mind and will keep me up at night, with all of the lights on, staring at the ceiling.

42. All of my most vivid and happiest memories all took place outside.

43. I don't spend as much time outside as i would like to.

44. My older brother is one of my favorite people; he and I are very close.

45. I can't dance but i wish i could.

46. I've been told that i have a decent singing voice, but i don't necessarily believe them.

47. I pretty much have been wearing the same perfume for the past 10 years; 5th Avenue by Elizabeth Ardin. That is how i smell.

48. I had caught up with an old friend after not seeing him for a bunch of years. When he got in the car with me he smiled and said, "you still smell like you" which for some strange reason i thought was such a sweet thing for him to remember.

49. I totally don't get Tom Waits. I'm sorry. I just don't get it. His voice is like nails on a chalk board to me.

50. I am usually a very good judge of character. I am usually chided for hating everyone and that's just not true. At least not right off the bat. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until it's painfully obvious that you're just a shitty person.

51. I have trouble hiding it when i don't like someone.

52. I hate the Olive Garden. But i could probably live on their bread sticks and salad if i had to. Yum.

53. I used to be sort of a goth / industrial chick in the mid to late 90's and loved the feeling of my fellow high school students being intimidated of me. "Loved" is probably not a strong enough word for how much i enjoyed this.

54. I've mentioned before that i was a less-than perfect goth girl, what with my aversion to scary movies and all.

55. I died my hair black at 19 and while i thought i looked awesome, my hair was not the same for years. It totally ruined my hair and it wasn't even supposed to be permanent dye.

56. One of my favorite bands from this time period is playing in New Jersey next month and I'm sad that i can no longer justify traveling across state lines just to see a band play.

57. After my hair started growing out after dying it black, i had the genius idea to cover it up with red. For those not in the know, red does not in fact cover up black. I had two toned hair until that started growing out. Then i had 3-tone hair. Nice and stripey.

58. I started smoking cigarettes when i was 15. It was totally due to peer pressure. I wanted to fit in with the cool, goth/industrial kids.

59. Strangely enough, even though i was pressured into smoking cigarettes, i have never done any illegal drugs whatsoever even though I was surrounded by them. Not even pot.

60. My mother had no idea what a good kid i was.

61. Spiders freak me out.

62. But i try not to kill bugs when i find them in the house. I'm one of those 'trap it and set it free' people.

63. I don't have any issues with snakes, however. I've found that people usually hate one or the other.

64. I don't like children. Any children.

65. I know that i don't want any children, but occasionally i think i might be nice to be pregnant. But that doesn't mean I'll actually do it. See #64.

66. I took an intensive tarot class a few years ago. It was really expensive and really interesting. It turned out that i was really good at reading cards and probably could have done it on the side for extra cash. Sadly, life got in the way and i haven't looked at my cards in about 2 years.

67. I wear glasses and am afraid to try contacts. I don't want to touch my eye like that.

68. Everyone on my father's side of the family has a certain characteristic on their noses that gives us that family stamp. You can see who is related to my grandfather this way. My brother, cousins and i all have this nose trait - kind of like divots underneath near the nostrils. It's not that weird, it just sounds like it is.

69. My last boyfriend was a conspiracy theorist. It was weird and angrifying (real word) and i put up with it for way too long.

70. I broke up with him the morning after Valentines Day and the day before his 30th birthday. I felt like an asshole, but couldn't put it off any longer.

71. He is one of the few exes that i never talk to anymore.

72. I have a strange habit of either making my boyfriends fat, or causing them to leave the state. Some have done both.

73. I want to learn how to play the drums.

74. I am a late person. I am usually at least 5 minutes late to everything and i hate that about myself.

75. I have Dinner with Dad every Thursday night. This has been a standing event since a couple of years after he left my mom. It is nice that we stay so close, but sometimes it is still uncomfortable.

76. My parents split in 1996, but they are still not divorced. I wish i had a good explanation for that.

77. This list is turning into a confessional, and it probably should be a bit lighter...

78. I like bunnies. Like a lot. If it weren't for the two dogs, i probably would have a couple of house-rabbits.

79. I had a wild rabbit growing up and he lived for 11 years. I know now that what we did is illegal, but i found a baby rabbit in the street across from my house and we wound up keeping him. His name was Frisky. I was 10, so shut up.

80. Along with the rabbit, i had a frog, gerbil, hamster and fish - not all at the same time. My mother wouldn't let me have a dog and my father hated cats. Apparently rodents, amphibians and fish were ok, though.

81. If i had a dog when i was a kid, i would probably have been more prepared for the amount of work dogs are and never agreed with TheBoy to get BigDog when we did. She's a great dog, but such a pain in the ass.

82. Everything I own has dog hair on it. It gets everywhere. Even in closed closets and cabinets. It makes me absolutely crazy and no amount of vacuuming helps.

83. I have never been to the west coast. The furthest i have been is Las Vegas, which was with the conspiracy theory boyfriend and therefore not as much fun as it should have been.

84. I could eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I love it so.

85. I have to watch cheesy movies like, Dirty Dancing, When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, Sleepless in Seattle, etc. whenever they're on tv. I know The Princess Bride by heart and if i happen to fall asleep while its on, the movie still plays in my head as if i were watching it on the screen. (The book was good, too, btw).

86. I had (and still do) a love for the Kevin Smith trilogy (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy) for a long time and for a high school class assignment chose to go to Redbank, NJ to find the Quickstop from Clerks (to buy coffee), and the dinner in Chasing Amy (for dinner). We also stopped at Kevin's comic book store. Was such a fun road trip.

87. TheBoy used to be in the NY film industry. When we first starting talking, he informed me that he did the titles on all of those movies and worked closely with Kevin Smith. We have two posters from Clerks and Chasing Amy hanging in the house with all of their signatures. So cool.

88. I used to be queen of the geeks. Geeks love me and i don't know why.

89. To be fair, i like hanging out with smart people. They keep you on your toes.

90. I tend to be extremely introverted and shy. If i have to, i can fake confidence and get through uncomfortable situations, but it's hard for me.

91. I am also honest to a fault. Some people just want you to lie to them. I am a terrible lier.

92. I love the smell of gasoline.

93. In the springtime, i occasionally get the urge to frolic in a field. Sometimes i get to do it.

94. I enjoy spying on people i went to high school with on myspace. I would never make my own profile because i don't want them spying on ME.

95. On my short stint on an internet dating site, i never made it all the way to meeting the guys i was talking to because i was too afraid of what might happen. I was a total wuss.

96. Even though I'm a dirty smoker, i think chewing tobacco is disgusting.

97. I have trouble drinking vodka since Halloween of 2003. It still makes me nauseous.

98. Clowns kind of freak me out.

99. This list was harder than i thought it would be. I think everyone says that.

100. I wish i were a clean freak, but I'm not. I'm kind of a clean freak stuck in a messy person's body. I would like for everything to be spotless and sterile and maybe i can really appreciate the minimalist decorating style, but i hate cleaning and accumulate too much crap to stay so minimal. I would love to hire someone to clean and organize my life. That would be super.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Audiophilia and Regrets be damned.

Congratulations to TheBoy for landing a job. He's been interviewing with this company for about 4 weeks now, and he got the phone call this evening. It looks like he starts on Monday and we couldn't be happier. Especially since last Friday I decided that i couldn't stand it anymore and we went out for drinks and dinner at a restaurant that is not exactly "cheap". I wanted a beer, dammit. Some overpriced, micro-brewed beer.

While i could have easily stopped at one pint, I had a second, and felt guilty about it all weekend.

Well, no more! Now i can buy as much over-priced beer as i want.

Sort of.

I mean, now that i know that we're not going to starve to death and then have our malnourished bodies eaten by the dogs, we can relax a little. But that doesn't mean that some of us can go back to their less-than-frugal lifestyle and continue to purchase crap that they don't need nor will ever use just for the sake of buying it. And guess what?

I actually don't mean me.

Ha! I know! I'm the woman! It should be me who goes shopping for fun and as a means for stress-release. But in our case, it's just not me. In fact, i usually feel an over-whelming sense of guilt when shopping and wind up not buying anything. Even those pants that look really good on me. Do you know how hard it is to buy pants that fit? It's really, really hard. But i put them back. Know why? The Guilt.

The Guilt runs deep from childhood and i know its some kind of parental programming from watching my mother struggle with the bills when i was a kid. She had a keen handle on The Guilt, but claims she didn't mean to pass that kind of psychosis onto her children. I guess kids pay attention to more than we may think.

TheBoy, however, is not in tune to The Guilt and has amassed, over many years, a vast music collection that is truly enviable to anyone else who may consider themselves an "audiophile". The collection takes up an entire room of the house. I mean, it's not like you can't step into the room, it just lines the walls of an entire room. Like up to the ceilings.

While this was impressive when we first met, it is not quite so impressive now that i am living with it. (Especially since he's kind of anal about his cds. He doesn't know that i borrow them. I'm not really encouraged to take them out of the house. He says i'm not responsible with my cds and can't really be trusted with his. This may be true. But I chose not to listen).

The cd collection has become ungainly, as his live on bookshelves which waste a lot of space. Considering that most people with this amount usually store them in special file cabinets to use space more wisely which are HUGELY expensive pieces of furniture. Perhaps i should mention that there are over 18,000 of them.

The cds are taking over, is what i'm saying.

Aside from the space they take up, there is a certain cost associated with keeping up any collection. Especially when the collector does not have The Guilt.

Luckily, i think that this 2 month uh, sabbatical, from a paycheck will be inspiration enough to curb the shopping habit he has and will force him to take a deeper, longer look at what he spends.

Or perhaps give me more balls to tell him to cut that shit out until we can actually afford to spend money for no reason.

These are all things we can look forward to. Until then, new job! Monday! Wheeeee!!!

And, last week's post about regretting inviting people to this page? I think i'm just going to ignore those tugging regrets for just a little while. (Apparently).

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Friday, February 16, 2007

Canned Spinach and Regrets

There are many times that i regret, fully regret, telling people i know about this page. I even knew when i was sending out those "hey, look what I'm doing" emails that it was a mistake. SUCH A MISTAKE. There is so much that I'd like to talk about anonymously that i just can't now. And that sucks. I wish i had been more honest with myself about what i would want to bitch about. Ah, such is life.

----------------

Harking back to my post* about needing recipes, I'm going to post the one that Da Nator* sent to me via e-mail because she couldn't get into my comments for some reason that day. I'm posting it because not only is it funny, but really, really good. And because I'm thinking of what's for dinner tonight and this is the winner:

*Also, for some reason Blogger won't let me publish this with links to my post nor Da Nator, so i guess you can figure out how to get to them by yourselves. Stupid blogger.

Here's a quick & easy recipe, with no standard measurements.

You'll need:
Pasta of your choice (whole wheat if you're the healthy type)
3 or four links of Italian sausage or Italian tofu sausage, cut into slices.
I prefer sweet, but try hot if you prefer.
1 can tomato paste
chopped garlic (fresh or in a bottle)
a little oil (olive is good)
parmesean cheese
some balsamic vinegar
spices - salt & pepper of course, the rest is up to you. I like to use
basil, oregano, maybe some thyme... but see what's fresh & you like. If you
like spicy food, get hot pepper - what's it to me?
optional: spinach, in case you want to throw that in instead of having a
side veg

Anyway, here's watchya do...

In a large frying pan, saute up a good amount of garlic in the oil, until
it's getting a little brown. The amount of garlic is to taste, natch.

Toss in the sausage slices. Forgot to slice 'em? Do it in your hands over
the pan. Just don't cut your fingers.

Let the slices cook a little bit & turn them so they get a tiny bit brown on
either side. While this is happening, you can start your water for the
pasta a-boilin'.

When the sausage is a little done, spoon in the tomato paste. Yes, it's
thick. Rub it around with the garlic and oil on the bottom of the pan - add
more oil if you like.

How's that water going? Ready? Toss in your pasta. If you like, you can
put a steamer on top of the pasta pot to steam your spinach at the same
time. Crafty, eh? If you prefer to saute the spinach alone, just be
prepared to put it in the sauce a bit earlier. If you have thawed, drained,
frozen spinach, it can go in towards the end just to warm up. If you have
canned spinach, throw it away.

OK, back to the sausage and sauce. Add some balsamic vinegar and your
spices to thin it a little and give it a nice taste. Also add your
parmesean to taste - this will thicken it and make it more salty, countering
the balsamic. Don't be afraid to add a little more oil if it needs it, too.
What you're looking to do is make a sort of thick glaze that caramelizes a
bit and coats the sausage, but leaves a bit as a sauce. It's not supposed
to be liquid-y like regular spaghetti sauce.

Your pasta and spinach should be done by now. Drain the pasta and plop both
it and the spinach in the pan of sausage and sauce. Now mix it all together
well, so the sauce kind of coats the pasta as well as the sausage.

Serve with extra parmesean for sprinklin' on the side. Finis!

If you get your pasta, spinach and sausage all going at the same time and
timed correctly, this gets done in maybe 20 minutes. It's hard to mess up
too much, because even if the paste starts to overcook a bit, it just gets
more caramelized, and you can re-thin it with vinegar, oil or water. It also
happens to be ridiculously tasty for the small amount of work involved.

Totally yummy. I happened to add some sugar to cut some of the acid and I am not the healthy type and therefore will be using another sausage or two because that's the best part, dammit.

Happy Friday, all.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Is gmail down? What the hell is going on today?

Happy Valentine's Day and whatever. It's all gross outside with a mixture of snow / sleet/ rain and a little hail thrown in for good sport. Getting to work this morning was a bit of a challenge, but no one ever said that i'm not up for a challenge! Well, maybe Mrs. Month, my 4th grade teacher. But other than her! No one. I got to work in one piece is what i'm saying.

These past couple of days have truly been awful and i'm not sure if it's real or completely fabricated by my menstrual mind. But there has been a lot of drama in my head and i'm not really sure how to make the gears stop spinning. It's just a little too much. Even for me.

TheBoy and i have been bickering all week and, of course, i have consistently been the instigator. This is what is making me think that it's just all in my head. Whenever we bicker around this time of the month he is usually smart enough to realize what is going on and doesn't fight back. This is one of the reasons why I love him. He's a smart one. I should probably apologize to him later.

Otherwise, work had been falling into a boring rut recently until my boss decided that we need to "show them why we're here" which has made my 8+ hours here mostly a suicide-watch environment and i'm just drained. Yesterday was a bit of an up and down roller-coaster affair with TheBoy having a scary interview in the morning and then an old friend stopped by the office to drop off some chocolate which was just lovely and uplifting.

So here i sit with a box of Hershey's on my left and a pile of horseshit work on my right and i'm trying to figure out what to do first.

Pshaw. Like that's a hard choice.

Hopefully TheBoy will come through as promised and cook a lovely Valentine's dinner for me tonight.

Especially since he gets to be home all day in this shitty weather. Seriously.

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

If my balance was better, i would be a great stewardess.

I've always wanted to be the type of person that could pack up and fly somewhere far away on a whim. I'm not talking about the fancy-dancy socialite jet-setters that you see falling down in front of clubs in US Weekly or anything. I'm not looking to fly to a party in LA on Friday night and then to a gallery opening in Chicago for Saturday. I just want to be able to get on a plane on Friday night and be in Florida in 2 1/2 hours or something. Spend the night and all of Saturday on the beach and then fly back home on Saturday night in time to get a good nights sleep and clean my house on Sunday. Whatever. This isn't asking for too much, is it?

Granted, right now, it's hard to even dream about going out to dinner at an Applebees on a Friday night, but soon the financial nightmare will be over and we'll have a normal income again. Sadly, a normal income doesn't seem to have room in the budget for weekends in San Francisco or a day-trip to Washington DC to visit the Smithsonian. Or at least i don't think.

I love to travel; there's nothing i would rather do with my hard-earned, minimum-wage* paycheck than book a trip to Europe for a week. But lets be realistic. Unless you work in the airline industry (like someone i know), it just doesn't work like that.

Or, of course, if you're a fancy-dancy socialite jet-setter.

I am neither. So i watch tv and make pot roast on the weekend.

God, what a raw deal.

On the Teevee, I've been seeing a commercial for Southwest airlines flying out of Long Island to a bunch of cities for $99 or less, one-way. Chicago is $39 and Washington/Baltimore is $29. It's not exactly Paris, but you know. I've never been to Chicago and the last (and only time) i was in Washington was a blur of a class trip that resulted in the hotel we stayed in students from my school being banned from ever staying there, ever, ever again. I guess it was kind of fun, but you know. Blurry. And i don't think i ever told mom about what happened to that 5th floor window they talked about in the letter sent home to the parents. Ah, well.

This morning i looked up the deal and apparently they want you to book before February 22nd, and travel before May 10th. How awesome would it be to fly to Chicago on Saturday morning for a slice of authentic Chicago-style pizza and fly home the same night in time for Law & Order?

It would be fun, dammit. Lots of fun.




*Ok. It's not that bad - but close enough.

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Maybe this means we'll move soon.

Thanks for the recipes last week - in the comments and via email. I even tried one from DaNator on Friday night and damn, was it good. Thanks, Nator! Was lovely.

This weekend, was Da Nator's Pasta with Spinach and Sausage, some Arroz con Pollo, and a pot roast in my new Crock Pot. I feel like some kind of domestic person now. It's very weird. The best part of cooking is drinking the wine that the recipe calls for. You know, a little for the stew, a little for you.

I guess whatever gets you through it.

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TheBoy has been interviewing pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks, which is just great. It has been a long couple of weeks without a second paycheck and I'm starting to wonder which credit card company is going to have to wait or which Dunkin' Donuts needs a night-time doughnut-maker. I think I'd look pretty good in the little paper cap, you know?

Trouble with the interviewing is that the two jobs that sound really worthwhile of the bunch, are about an hour's drive each way. That sucks.

They're also both a pay-cut from his last job. That sucks more.

This calls for expert decision making and pro/con list making and 100k-mile car maintenance appointment making.

We won't know anything until the end of the week on either job, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

It's a hell of a lot better to have many choices than none at all.

Cross your fingers with me, will ya?

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