"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Monday, November 13, 2006

Do you want to watch my dogs? Just for a few days? Please?

::UPDATE:: Hooray!! I found someone!!! Our groomer has room and her price is WAY lower than the last place and is within walking distance and i am happy and the dogs will be happy and we are all happy and i can get on with my f-ing life and not have to worry about THEM.
Thank you, groomer lady. You are the bestest.

UGH. It is currently T minus 14 days until I get the fuck off this island and everything is starting to fray just a little bit.
And let me just mention that I'm glad I realized that I would need fucking TICKETS to get on the damn BOAT because let me tell you, I was wondering when they would get here and then I just totally forgot about them. HAHA, wouldn't that have been special. The nice lady from the internet emailed them to me, so at least that's all set.

But the f-ing dogs. Damn.

I had found a girl from a Craigslist ad (yeah, I know. But Craigslist isn't just for prostitution, by the by) who lived locally and was pretty reasonable with her rates. She was charging $15 per dog, per day... that's $360. Yeah, it sounds expensive, right? Compare that to the Doggy Daycare I had left them with for a weekend a while ago: $37 per dog, per day x 12 days = $888

Maybe this is a little silly of me, but I don't think it should cost almost $900 to watch dogs. They're FUCKING DOGS. DOGS. Not CHILDREN, DOGS. No one is paying me fucking $900 and I have to live with these fuckers.

So the Craislist girl had to cancel on me. It was my fault, anyway, and I feel like a total asshole for not confirming with her more quickly. She took another job and doesn't have room for my dogs. Fine. I found another person. She is going to charge me $35 per dog, per day. That's a discount, by the way, for multiple dogs. Isn't that nice of her? For just one, she charges $40. She took a whole $5 off, there, did you see that? Fantastic!

I'm thinking I'm just going to leave the back door open and cut open a 20lb bag of dog food on the floor and let them fend for themselves. LittleDog is smart enough. If she runs out of kibble, she can probably eat a squirrel or something. The BigDog on the other hand. Well, she better learn to conserve.

Cause she's dumb.

On the other hand, there are thousands of people who want to come to my house and let out my dogs and feed them and walk them and make it look like there is someone living there by taking in the mail and turning on lights and stuff. But, um, I don't know how I like that.

But it's not because I think they'll steal something or have a party or anything. Go ahead, really, take whatever you want. It's one less thing to clean. But more so because...

(clicky biggy)
My house is carpeted in this ancient PINK carpet and quite frankly, it's a little embarrassing. I mean, it's fucking PINK. And a STRANGER is going to COME IN TO MY HOUSE.


But HOW CUTE is LittleDog as a puppy?? SOO CUTE! Wish I knew her then. No doubt I would have so much more patience for her now if I had. See how she destroyed that towel-rope toy thing and then apparently ROLLED AROUND IN IT? Probably very cute when she was small*.

Do you want to watch my dogs? I'll pay you...

*I kid. LittleDog does not destroy anything anymore, not since she was young. Now she's working on destroying herself.


  • Well you can go one of three ways:

    (A) Leave the dogs in the house with food and water, and let them relieve themselves on the pink carpet. Then you'll have NO choice but to get rid of the carpeting and go with a look you perfer.

    (B) Pay through the nose to have someone look after the pups.

    (C) Allow Aunt Orelinde to look after them! I promise they won't have piercings or tattoos when you return. :-)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11/13/2006 4:29 PM  

  • I'm sorry, but I'm allergic to vast expanses of pink, and I smell of cats.

    Just keep breathing - not long until your vacation, now...

    By Blogger Da Nator, at 11/13/2006 7:07 PM  

  • Orelinde - for real? really real? cause i may have to take you up on that. be careful what you ask for... though, um, i REALLY don't want to have to ask you to.

    da nator - who isn't allergic to pink. i know i fucking am. HATE THAT CARPET. HATE IT. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. *breathe*

    By Blogger claire, at 11/13/2006 7:17 PM  

  • I'll watch them! I've always wanted to visit Long Island in November! ;)

    By Blogger Cassie, at 11/13/2006 8:21 PM  

  • Cassie - Yay! Ok, i'll leave a key under the mat, you just let yourself in. You can eat whatever you want in the fridge. Just don't look at the carpet, mmkay?

    By Blogger claire, at 11/14/2006 8:29 AM  

  • Do you want to drive them to Philadelphia? My house is four rooms large and has spiral stairs and they will destroy it in .02 seconds.

    And little dog is effing adorable as a puppy.

    By Blogger Christine, at 11/14/2006 2:26 PM  

  • i would watch 'em a couple of nights but I will be in Aruba for the week :)

    where are you flying out of?

    By Blogger s, at 11/14/2006 2:50 PM  

  • Take... the... dogs... with you. It's the only solution =;-)

    By Blogger minijonb, at 11/14/2006 3:16 PM  

  • christine - HEE!! I just pictured big dog on spiral stairs. i get the feeling she wouldn't quite get it. Poor thing would probably fall all the way down. ooh. not so funny then, is it...

    S - yeah, not so much help from you then. i'm actually catching the boat out of NY. Weeeee! no flying.

    By Blogger claire, at 11/14/2006 3:17 PM  

  • minijonb - you must have slipped in while i was commenting... If i could take them, wow, what a mess that would be, eh? Dogs flying overboard and such... i wonder if BigDog can swim? hmm...

    By Blogger claire, at 11/14/2006 3:22 PM  

  • (Yay! I can comment now!)

    I just dogsat for FREE* for my parents for the last 6 days. I'd watch yours too, but I'm all pooched out... And oh yeah, you live a couple hours away.

    * Um, free except that I ran out of money and had to borrow from my mom to get my hair did... and we all know that when you borrow from parents you don't actually pay them back. I consider it a trade.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11/15/2006 9:04 PM  

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