"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


Yesterday was our company picnic and I had decided months ago that i wasn't fecking going to that shit. It was in New Jersey and about 2 1/2 hours away. I figured, I am not going travel that far to hang out with a bunch of people i don't like if i don't have to, thank you very much.

Wound up going to the beach (with Orelinde from work) on Fire Island, a summery resort type area, off the southern coast of Long Island. It's really a lovely place with beautiful beaches and other summery, resorty things like restaurants, bars, clubs and whatever. Not that i would know anything about that; i've only been to the island twice in my adult life and neither time did i ever go to anything 'fun'. Cause i'm not. Fun. You know.

Uh.. so the beach. Lovely. The area that we went to was completely desolate, save three or four other small groups, made up mostly of fat people. Which is fine, quite frankly. I don't go to the beach for the crowds and other people - if i had my way, they would always be empty and waiting for me to show up. And the fat people? Super - you don' t look at my ass, i won't look at yours. The way it should be. Little, spindly people walking around in pasties can be rather intimidating for the rest of us who would rather go to the beach in full wet-suits if we could. Maybe that's just me.

We were there for a good 5 or 6 hours. Me in my 45 spf sunblock (i'm Italian, but i turn a bright, lobstery shade of red if you leave me out in the sun for a little over 1/2 an hour. it's sad) and orelinde who used something silly, like spf 6. We enjoyed the sun, as it was an unbelievably beautiful, 85 degrees and i even got to swim in the ocean. Lovely, lovely day.

As the afternoon wore on, i could tell she was starting burn, what with the spf 6, but i saw absolutely no change in my electric-white, pasty skin. Hooray for spf 45!

Except, not so much.

I am in so much pain today. It hurts to move my shoulders because my shirt brushes across my back in horrific, scratchy patterns. It hurts to sit, because of the burn on the back of my knees. Putting on a bra this morning was awful, what with the straps and band and ouch. My face has what some people are calling a "healthy glow", ie: RED.

Stupid. Apparently "waterproof" sunblock does not mean, "go swimming in the ocean for 45 minutes. Twice! No worries!" I should have re-applied it, and didn't. It's all my fault and i'm totally paying for it. It hurt to sleep last night.

Also: my face is breaking out from the sunblock i DID put on. YAY! Bright red with a sprinkling of yuck! Pretty!

Hopefully this will fade and look some kind of tan and stop hurting.

But in the meantime, Ouch.


  • yeeoowch!
    that happens to my yummy biker all the time. burns like an egg, he does.
    still, you got to go to the beach and i'm watching liquid cow crap geyser out of a giant sprinkler onto the hay field across the street.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 8/09/2006 8:18 PM  

  • first nations - eh? you're what? i think i would definitely chose the sunburn over a liquid-shit-geyser... wow.

    By Blogger claire, at 8/09/2006 9:42 PM  

  • Make sure to apply lots of lotion to your face (oil free if you have it to prevent the breakouts)! I swear it helps with the peeling so you don't get those dandruffy looking flakes along your hairline when you do not have dandruff, thankyouverymuch. The peeling everywhere else? Eh. Maybe only gross to your man.

    By Blogger Jessica, at 8/09/2006 10:30 PM  

  • Ouch. If you don't mind smelling like a salad for a night, get some white vinegar mixed with just a touch of water, I'd say two parts vinegar to one part water. Soak a washcloth in it and apply to your shoulders. As a kid, and young teen, before learning of the virtues of my white (only half Italian) self, I burned the first time out in the sun each year.

    Also, aloe feels very nice. And stupid, hateful bras.

    By Blogger Christine, at 8/10/2006 7:43 AM  

  • Claire...I hurt momma! Damn our pastey white Italian flesh! Whoever heard of glow-in-the-dark Italians?

    I think we did have fun, other than getting crispy-burnt. Mario badescu has an SPF for the face which works wonders and prevents break-outs. Will have to rebuy.

    I honestly didn't see you getting reddish on Tuesday. I suck. Letting my friend get burnt.

    By Blogger Orelinde_03, at 8/10/2006 9:34 AM  

  • Oh, Claire, how awful! I haven't burned in long time, but one never forgets what it feels like - I once, years (years and years and years) ago, feel asleep while outside taking in the sun - fell asleep on my belly - and I wilL NEVER forget the resulting sunburn on the whole back side of my body. ::hugs:: <--- very gentle

    By Blogger runemeister, at 8/10/2006 11:17 AM  

  • jessica - yes, ma'am. I purchased a lovely bottle of aloe gel and have applied liberally. no one likes flakes.

    christine - i've heard about the vinegar thing, but i think i'll stick with the fragrance-free, non-acidic aloe. Hateful, indeed.

    Orelinde - if someone makes a non-acnegenic or whatever sunblock, i'm all in. And yes, was tons of fun. will have to do it again before the end of the summer. :)

    runemeister - gentle!! :) ouch on falling asleep in the sun. but it feels so nice, doesn't it? sadly i was wide awake, and still didn't notice. Dur.

    By Blogger claire, at 8/10/2006 1:27 PM  

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