"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Sometimes maybe i'd like to just be a squirrel.

When i got into work this morning i signed on to my online bank account to check the fundage and see what my money was doing.

I love being able to do that. It makes me wonder what took them so long to come up with this idea. I mean, banking online? The greatest thing ever. I hate going and talking to people at the bank with the lines and the forms and all that crap. All you need here is a password and a mouse and your moving all of your money all over the place. Transfer? You bet. Throw it over there. I don't even have to write checks anymore - the bank does all of my bill-paying for me. Super.

Except this morning? I find that my "Running Balance" is much lower than i left it yesterday morning.

Why do i only have $1.00 in my checking account? Anyone? Where did all my money go...?

Why does this shit always happen to me?

(I mean, its not like i'm totally broke or anything. I do have a savings account and some cash hiding in a glass at home that has to be deposited. You know, whenever i remember to take it with me. And then go to the bank. Which i hate doing.)

And i know its because the mortgage payment cleared yesterday. But this is not the point.

I need money.

I think i should like to be a squirrel.

I'm envious of the little furry woodland creatures. They seem to have it so easy, you know? Collecting nuts and hiding them. Scampering around the yard. Cleaning their fluffy tails. And they're just so damn cute.

No mortgage payments, no full-time crap job, no rush-hour traffic, no twat of a boss. Just acorns and leaves and running from dogs.

Though i think it would get rather cold in the winter. I probably wouldn't like that.


  • Well , you would share your life with insects. Be prey for most larger creatures (including some variety of hawks) suffer from amazing amounts of diseases. Torment from children with sling shots. Road pizza(wont expound on that one). Your food supply would depend on the rainfall. You would have babies every spring only to watch half of them die. ..

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/04/2006 8:26 AM  

  • HAHAHA. We are the same girl. Seriously.

    By Blogger star firstbaseman, at 5/04/2006 9:49 AM  

  • Okay, but don't be that damn dumb squirrel who always insists on running in front of the car and then switching directions.

    By Anonymous Whinger, at 5/04/2006 11:58 AM  

  • Something similar happened to me yesterday... except it was the candles I bought at Target that left my account empty. Oops.

    By Blogger Jessica, at 5/04/2006 3:28 PM  

  • You're already as cute as a squirrel.

    By Anonymous The Boy, at 5/04/2006 3:38 PM  

  • Anon MB - You are a joy-kill.

    Star firstbaseman - :)

    Whinger - OH i will be that squirrel. How else will i entertain myself?

    Jessica - I probably should have realized that the mortgage was going to clear when i bought fuel oil for the heat. Ugh..

    The Boy - AWW! Aren't you sweet... and sarcastic.

    By Blogger claire, at 5/04/2006 3:48 PM  

  • The beginning of the month is the worst. Mortgage. Bills. HORROR.

    I understand this pain.

    By Anonymous jonniker, at 5/04/2006 11:27 PM  

  • I do that. I bank online, I check my balance, I wonder where that £500 has gone.

    I panic, wondering if I've been ripped off, if someone has somehow gained access to my accounts and pilfered my cash.

    I do my sums.

    Nope. That was all my spending.


    By Blogger Fuckkit, at 5/07/2006 4:59 PM  

  • squirrels are cute but I don't think they have as much fun as you and the boy.

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 5/08/2006 1:33 PM  

  • Jonniker - It is a Horror and i resent the world for doing this to us.

    Fuckkit - doesn't it just kill you? its just a stab to the heart to know that you did that to yourself.

    Kyahgirl - That is arguable... :)

    By Blogger claire, at 5/08/2006 3:08 PM  

  • Looks nice! Awesome content. Good job guys.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/20/2006 10:21 AM  

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