Email from the boss today:

This is quite possibly the most unprofessional (with craptacular grammar) message i have ever received. This is not just me specifically - this went out to 8 of us.

Boss is upset with me and my "team". Here, have a look (things in Blue have been altered by me for a more generic feel and/or to protect the innocent):

Effective Today,

I am asking each of you to be sure and check your "Call-Center-Work-Ticket Program Name" login screen more aggressively than you are currently.

Tickets are being assigned to you and we are not responding in a timely manor. ( Putting Egg on our Face)

I have seen way to many facilities NO Response samples today, where our customers are asking for SIMPLE things like badge access, lights, temperature adjustments, cleaning, Paper, Phones Etc Etc

That have gone days weeks without a facilities Response…???????????? I know we are all busy But !!

Are we to busy to follow up? I don’t want to stand behind you and complain about personal calls or surfing the net…But I suggest we take care of our customers 1^st before we make calls and hack the WEB..

This is not what I have been asking for “ When I say we need a sense of Urgency to everything we do” I want to remind you of one of our first team meetings when I asked for us all to

Strive for a “ 24 Hour Response” to all requests.

As of today I would like all completed tickets to be routed directly to "Employee Name" by 430 pm Daily.

Thank you for your cooperation

Signed: An obnoxious twat

I am so done with this place. This is just getting stupid now.
And what is he talking about with this "surfing the net" bit? Who is he referring to exactly?

Whatever. I spent yesterday on Craigslist looking for jobs for myself and forwarding some links to coworker friends who were qualified for them.

I have no shame, i guess.

I hope no one knows who i am... i will so get fired for this. But hey, at least then i'll get unemployment.