"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Friday, April 21, 2006

Email from the boss today:

This is quite possibly the most unprofessional (with craptacular grammar) message i have ever received. This is not just me specifically - this went out to 8 of us.

Boss is upset with me and my "team". Here, have a look (things in Blue have been altered by me for a more generic feel and/or to protect the innocent):

Effective Today,

I am asking each of you to be sure and check your "Call-Center-Work-Ticket Program Name" login screen more aggressively than you are currently.

Tickets are being assigned to you and we are not responding in a timely manor. ( Putting Egg on our Face)

I have seen way to many facilities NO Response samples today, where our customers are asking for SIMPLE things like badge access, lights, temperature adjustments, cleaning, Paper, Phones Etc Etc

That have gone days weeks without a facilities Response…???????????? I know we are all busy But !!

Are we to busy to follow up? I don’t want to stand behind you and complain about personal calls or surfing the net…But I suggest we take care of our customers 1st before we make calls and hack the WEB..

This is not what I have been asking for “ When I say we need a sense of Urgency to everything we do” I want to remind you of one of our first team meetings when I asked for us all to

Strive for a “ 24 Hour Response” to all requests.

As of today I would like all completed tickets to be routed directly to "Employee Name" by 430 pm Daily.

Thank you for your cooperation

Signed: An obnoxious twat

I am so done with this place. This is just getting stupid now.
And what is he talking about with this "surfing the net" bit? Who is he referring to exactly?

Whatever. I spent yesterday on Craigslist looking for jobs for myself and forwarding some links to coworker friends who were qualified for them.

I have no shame, i guess.

I hope no one knows who i am... i will so get fired for this. But hey, at least then i'll get unemployment.



9 Comments:

  • Young lady, that was to much for my mild manor too except... YOUR FIRED!

    signed,
    the boss

    ;-) just kidding

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4/21/2006 12:05 PM  

  • Wow , heh not funny.

    and wow your boss really is an uneducated slob isnt he.

    ~MB

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4/21/2006 12:12 PM  

  • it sucks to have to work for a living eh?

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 4/21/2006 1:59 PM  

  • Are you looking for another job totally based on his bad grammar, or is the place really as bad as this e-mail says? i.e., bad response times, etc. I'd hate to work for a place this bad, if true. Or, maybe, I'd make sure that the Bad Grammar Guy knew I was doing MY job, and didn't feel like I deserved to receive that kind of e-mail.

    By Blogger shiftclick, at 4/22/2006 7:21 AM  

  • got to love someone who doesn't bother checking spelling/grammar before sending a group email.

    why is everyone who is higher than me professionally not nearly as clever?

    *sulks*

    By Blogger surly girl, at 4/24/2006 3:56 AM  

  • anon 1:05 - piss off. pay me now.

    anon mb - he certainly is.

    kyahgirl - is there another way i can to this? lotto comes to mind. i may have to try it.

    shiftclick - this place is exactly that bad. but Boss doesn't make it any better. he's not really helping with the cause, just part of the problem. He creates all of these meetings to try to 'motivate' us where instead, he's just wasting time where we could be getting things done.

    Surly Girl - totally. we deserve promotions.

    By Blogger claire, at 4/24/2006 9:02 AM  

  • Bleh. I hate the team emails. This kind of thing belongs either (a) in personal reviews or (b) in at least face-to-face situations.

    Is your boss ESL? Because otherwise, is that a 5th grade education?

    By Anonymous Whinger, at 4/24/2006 3:28 PM  

  • Claaaaiiiirrrreeee! I don't want to play anymore!!! I do not think there is enough happy hours or liquor to erase the stress and pressure we have been expierencing. Come do hot yoga with me...it helps relieve some of this stress. Or let's find some way to retaliate!

    I just spoke with Big Bad...and he seemed to be in an alright mood. Then again, I think we should change his name from Big Bad to Dr. jeckyll & Mr. Hyde. God only knows how many hours tomorrow's meeting will be.

    Please don't leave me here alone! please don't make me work with all the incompetant assholes without having you as my temper manager.

    By Blogger Orelinde_03, at 4/24/2006 3:32 PM  

  • That's TERRIBLE.

    By Blogger star firstbaseman, at 4/25/2006 9:05 AM  

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