Because I deserve a change

I've been working on my resume.

Claire
Address bit here
Phone # here
onaccountofmyrage@gmail.com


Objective:

To find a job within a 25 mile vicinity that doesn't make me want to hang myself with the telephone wire. Preferably for a company with amazing benefits that won't force me to change all of my doctors.

Qualifications:

Computer Chick, Building Operations / Large Company / 2000 - Present

• Fantastic skills with navigating, surfing, shopping, downloading on internet, also proficient in spending 8+ hours fucking around doing nothing productive whatsoever. Also, excellent at watching Panda Cam.
• Answering phone
• Typing @ 70 wpm, though accuracy is limited
• Blatant insubordination through poor attitude and inability to listen to directions without overwhelming need to punch supervisor between beady eyes.
• Works well with others
• Self-starter
• Builds meaningful, sometimes physical relationships with contractors / consultants / temporary employees* in order to get things needed to fulfill job requirements. Will use 'wiley ways' if necessary.(*Am currently living with one ex-temp of current company.)
• Good phone manner.
  
• Talented problem-solver.
• Chronically late back from lunch break.

What do you think?

I think i'm almost ready to get this thing out there. Surely, will impress the Personnel agents of my area's top 500 businesses.

Tomorrow WILL be a brand new day.

Must add: Brilliant at html, as well. Just look at those bullets! Outstanding.