"Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam..."

Friday, March 17, 2006

Yes, i'm talking about my dogs again.

Whinger's post today, made me think of this.

If dogs are like "training-children", in essence a small step to get you prepared for parenthood, I know that I would be a wretched mother. Wretched. I can already tell. I would be an un-fit mother with WAY too many issues for the authorities to ignore.

Let me explain.

I love my dogs. However, it is painfully obvious that i love one more than the other. I have a favorite, and i feel tremendously guilty about it. Now, since none of you know me, i can tell you this. Little Dog makes me nuts. She has some behavior issues that crawl right under my skin and eat away at the small amount of patience i have for other living things. She is unmistakably the neediest dog i have ever met. Ever.

Let me preface the rest of this thought by telling you that i don't want children. I never have and swear to my mother and all others that i shall never change my mind.* It's just not something i want in my life. I'm not especially fond of other people's children and I can't imagine that I will become one of those women who find their "clock" ticking when they see children at play or whatever, at whatever age it's supposed to tick. I just don't get it.

So keeping this kid-thing in mind, having two dogs that depend on me for their well-being is a little unsettling. I must not have enjoyed my independence when i had it, apparently, because i decided to move in with my boyfriend 2 years ago who has two kids and (at the time) one dog. (His kids will be a story for another time; that ought to be at least 5 posts worth of rant).

His resident one dog, was Little Dog**. When i met Little Dog, i chalked her nervous energy up to being uncomfortable with strangers and figured she would calm down after a little while. But she never did. Little Dog doesn't know how to relax and doesn't know how to let a single whim pass without acting on it. Everyone knows people like this; I tend not to associate with them by choice because they annoy the crap out of me.

Now i live with one.

A) She is a very smart dog, however, and learns commands quickly and tends to perform them only for the approval of her people. Treats are not necessary, she does it because she can wants to make us happy. This, is great for us - but terribly sad, i think - kind of like a battered wife***. B) This same mentality is likely what caused her Submissive Urination problem for the first 2+ years of her life***. Looking Little Dog in the eye was a no-no, because it generally made her uncomfortable. I learned how to read her mind eventually just to be able to live with her without having her cower and pee all over the floor All The Time.
C) When she is in the backyard and the neighbor-dog is out, Little Dog leaps along the fence, barking and growling all the way at neighbor-dog for no good reason i can see. The neighbors have told me that seeing her head bobbing up and down along the 6 ft. fence is quite funny, but drives me to screaming fits. It makes me crazy.

And add this to countless other annoying gems that i won't bore you with for now. Maybe later.

But then there's Big Dog. We found Big Dog**** at the North Shore Animal League last March when she was only 7 months old. It was love at first sight. Poor thing was already 85 lbs and really pathetic looking. Her time behind bars had made her immune to meeting new people and was just lying there on her cage floor when we found her. But now, she is just the happiest dog ever. Loves everyone and everything and is always excited and sweet.

Big Dog is my love. And i'm ashamed of myself, because i think Little Dog knows. I try to hide my favoritism and show the little one as much affection, but i think she knows its not the same. The thing about Big Dog is that she's absolutely dumb as a stump, and just as stubborn. And it is because she's so dumb that it makes her completely innocent. Nothing she does ever seems to be on purpose, so its very easy to forgive her when she's doing something wrong. Which is often. You just can't help but forgive her after she's eaten the bathroom carpet, knocked you into a wall or eaten the stuffing out of the couch cushions.

Because she looks at you like this.
How can you not love this face??

*"But you're still young. You'll change your mind, you'll see" is the most common answer I hear when i tell people i don't want kids. I seriously think i was born without that gene.
**Name is Stella and is a PitBull mix. Named for the fun it would produce to call her name from far distances. Try it for yourself. Get it? Yeah.
***She was not, in fact, abused as a puppy. More like spoiled-rotten by The Boy.
****Name is Millie and is a St.Bernard. She came with it from the shelter - we decided to keep it as we liked the idea of having dogs that sounded like two little old ladies in the house. I don't know why. We thought of changing her name to Norma after a little while, but decided that it would be way to hard and didn't bother.


  • Ah yes, the pit bull mix. That's what Dog is. Happily, Dog it extremely independent and continent, or I can see how we'd have some issues.

    Would like to have Big Dog follow me around with that face forever.

    By Anonymous Whinger, at 3/17/2006 5:07 PM  

  • bless big dog. am on my way over Right Now to steal her away.

    oh, and i decided not enough people comment so i gave you a link.

    By Blogger surly girl, at 3/21/2006 4:06 PM  

  • Whinger - Luckily Little Dog is more continent now than she used to be. It makes it easier for her to meet new people: less embarrassing for her.

    Surly Girl - She will happily be stolen, as she already loves you.

    And thank you!! It does get lonely here...

    By Blogger claire, at 3/22/2006 12:19 PM  

  • Because we're for Dogz. Dogz Rule. Have you seen that commercial?

    Yes, you can be my friend. :)

    By Blogger shiftclick, at 3/22/2006 6:18 PM  

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